All posts by mE

Father, partner, author, chocoholic, recovering caffeine addict, IT manager, poet and lover.

Morning ride

Bruised clouds tartan the morning sky,
Wiping sleep from tired eyes as the road
Roles on, beneath wheels buzzing with speed,
And a mind falling behind, this is the way I spin,
The work coming up, another day full of fun,
Meetings and paperwork, until the day is done,
Home again, home again, jigged-jog, like the old
Man rolling home, mind lost in the fog.

And still I remember, childhood dreams coming true,
Of perfect summer days, and sweet happy futures with you,
When I open the door, long tread down the path done, and
You step into my arms, I realise I am the lucky one, for
I have all of my dreams come true, right here and now,
And there is nothing more to wish for, ever, except
One more day to enjoy the happy homecoming moment
Frozen in time.

So waking up early, crisp morning mist, light already
Broken, kissing you both goodbye, I get into the car
And desk-side watch time fly, for this is the way it goes
Until retirement comes, early or late, self-effacing reality
Flying in the face of the dreams we once had, but no matter
For life is what we make of it, we shuffle the cards in our hand
And turn to one another, asking questions we don’t really
Understand, even if they were answered, we would be
None the wiser, so says blue battered bruised clouds,
Hanging low overhead, as I drive into work, another
Day to come, and enjoy the ride, from morning dark light
To evening’s warm kiss, this is the life of happy,
Warm, cuddles, and family at home,
Nothing could be better,
After so long
Alone.

fairytale dawn

I awoke this morning,
Bad breath and aching joints,
Rolled out of bed and woke up,
As I do each day, only to realise
That each day I awake at home,
Is a fairytale dawn.

Without the blue skied,
Green-treed commute,
With winter or summer,
Spring or fall outside,
It is all the same, for I am
Blessed with the beauty within
My life, and the life within
My home.

For when I stepped back into
The room, fresh-shaven, wide-
Eyed, and saw you there, angel
To my self-proclaimed devil’s in
The detail over analytical self,
Your blond hair spread waterfall-
Like across the pillow, soft in sleep
Teddy keeping my bare sheets warm,
Looking up at me expectantly,
I held my breath for a moment’s pause,
And realised how lucky I really am.

Then slipping next door, I awoke,
As requested, not out of spite, our
Beautiful angel, who’s smile beats a
Thousand suns, the soul-love furnace
Full of life and spirit, and realised I am
Double-blessed, for non-religious me,
This is warmth, this is love, this is what
Others call God.

And smiling still, kissing both goodbye,
I welcomed brisk winter’s late brush, shivering
Sinuously up my spine to tickle my fingertips,
Bessie Jr waiting patiently for the morning’s commute,
My smile widening ever more as I realised
That I do have everything I ever wanted,
Everything I ever wished for,
Right here,
Right now,
at home,
My life
is love.

beautiful fear

I love the way
You make me feel,
Each and every day.
Your smiling eyes,
Dance with tease
As you tweak my
Nipples sore.
You are the woman
Of my dreams, my
Every waking thought,
Of horny, sexy fantasy,
And happy warm hearth
Home. You make me smile
With everything you do,
Keep me coming back for
More, and even when I
Want to be serious your
Humour throws me off,
In all the best ways possible,
You are my perfect dream,
The woman I want to wake up
Next to, forever and a day,
And still I watch you from
The door, going about your
Daily routine, and my heart
Wants to freeze time for
Ever more, just in case this
Is all a dream.

I love you with all of me,
From deepest, darkest self,
Like a child walking in the
Dark, I sometimes am afraid
That my lifetime’s blind-
Ness, clumsy and deaf at
Times will push you far away,
And these poems from my
Heart, merely beg for you to
Stay. Don’t lose patience with
Me now, at least not for very
Long, as I love you from the
Very bottom of who I am
And I love you lifetime long.

sleep

Sitting here, slumbering pooch nestled
Up warm back to base of my spine, black
Cat chittering excitedly from atop bed-
Room door, not swung wide enough to
Again knock hanging Eiffel Tower pic
From it’s single nail in the wall, old
Man Wishbone stretching as he settles,
Claws scrabbling for stretchy-purchase
On original hardwood hard-varnished floor, and
Still my aching temple does not relinquish the fact,
That not twenty-four hours ago, this self-
Same I, was wound up like coiled silver spring,
One more lost soul, caught up in the moment,
About to lose it, and all for the memory,
One clear clean frozen fraction of time,
Flooded with the warmth of memory, and
The pain of loss, this self-same man, me,
Was on the brink of being back in his
Mother’s warm smiling embrace, those
Soulful laughingly love-filled compassionate eyes,
Although a dear stranger, dear all the same,
Same down-dragging corner of mouth,
Same wicked humour glinting in eyes,
Until the puffy stroke-folded cheek,
Muscle toying with the hint of a smile,
Like an old man teasing one last curl of
The dumbbell, smiling while given muscles
Give in, she smiled at me, glad for some
Company, a friendly face. So I smiled
Back, and we chatted about the weather
And gloves, til my skinnydecaflatte arrived,
And I had no more excuses to stay, yet
I would have anyway, if the tears had not
Burned my eyes tightly shut, dry heat threatening
To burst the damns of self-inflicted self-reserve,
And chased me out of that plastic place,
Into the rain-splattered stony cathedral outside,
Where words and thoughts flooded through me,
In through my deepest soul pain, then
Back out again, until I could no more read
The words on my screen, and keep straight
Faced, and so I stood, back to nothing at all,
Silent torrents of loss, coursing down rain-
Damped cheeks, lost in my own world
Of memory and pain, wondering when I would ever see you again, mom,
Writing frozen fingers tapping the screen,
Blurred vision reading words quickly unseen
So much deep unearthment, earth movers away,

The knowledge that my mother’s love had reached through
The past, the last half-decade of years, to smile
Lovingly at me through familiar stranger’s eyes,
All rolled up together into an endless deep-breathing sigh,
Only to crash me back down, to earth, concrete and stone,
Reminding me that we are never alone, for our loved ones
Follow us, to be around when we’re down, and smile out at
Us from strangers’ eyes, to remind us of who we really are,
And of how far we’ve come, that as long as we haven’t given
Up, then we are nowhere near done, to never give up,
Nor surrender our selves, that’s the trick of all time,
No matter how old. So don’t give up, or
Give in, even if all seems to go, for your mother
May be peaking out of someone else’s eyes, just to
Say a quick hello, and how do you do, and
Fair thee well, goodnight, sweet dreams,
Let us all see what tomorrow brings.