Category Archives: Writing

My first, longest, truest love – writing. Step inside and have a browse, leave a comment, praise or slate, it’s all good!

flushed

Flushed, system running
Tinnitus-high, smiling inside out
Breathe tight, short in throat,
Constricted with happy hormones
Life-rush of fine feelings thrown all
Too high, overdrive with no rough
Life to grip, just the ease of happy
No-stress enjoyment, true to life,
True to me, wide awake, bright-
Eyed, bushy-tailed, chomping at
The bit, look out world, are you
Ready for an Emerson, loaded with
Endorphins and aimed straight out
At you? I think not! Too bad, too
Late, don’t say I didn’t warn you
This ugly little duckling just got his
Turbo on – at this speed looks don’t
Matter, only steering straight on
Towards the stars and beyond,
Like LL said, don’t call it a come
Back, cause I’ve never been here
Before. Not sure even I know where
I’m heading, all I know is that it’s
Right –
She’s the one.

inside-out happy

Shit-eating grin,
What shit-eating grin?
With food and water running out
Is happiness sin?

We tough it through turmoil,
Fight strong through the night,
Chasing ‘way demons under
Pale moonlight, until dawn’s
Bright awakening bursts through
The night, with millions starving,
Many more in misery, being this
Happy, can it be right?

I may not have all the answers,
In fact hold very few, like
Why as sentient beings we
Hold such a narrow world view,
Not seeing the suffering every
Dripping tap cries, cheap food on
Our plates while the supermarket hides,
The dirty truth of its source, broken
Backs of our cousins, dying of
Starvation, malnutrition or hot lead,
Each inexpensive morsel we eat now,
Their lifeblood has fed.

Not being a saint, I eat the same,
Looking for a better choice, to
Step outside this game, thoughts
Circling back, seriously happy,
My heart sings a private song,
A duet at last, here comes the
Smile, a new life can begin.

With the world in this state,
Is true happiness sin?
If it is, I’m unrepentant, a sinner
Is me. I’ve waited long enough to
Be happy, you see. I’ll do my best
Change my food-eating habits,
Change my ways, for happiness
Can be more driven Good
Than Hollywood daze.

Love unrepentant,
Love hard, love long,
For when we are all dust
Only love carries on.

blushing shy

A miscaught glance shared,
Grape half-poised to mouth,
Cheek reddened, down-turned
Eyes, momentary blush of
Exquisitely caught time, like
A fisherman reeling in perfect
Bespoke moments, wonderment
Born, what will the future bring,
For the blush triggered by mis-
Read happenstance, timing linked
To in-born hope, that self-same
Happy momentary promise-thought
That once raised flows further
Forward down would-have could-
Have should-have maybes, like
All other such instant daydreams
Sweeping us further from our-
Selves, as undercurrents of the
Shared sub-conscious, never controlled
Controlling, rather, our hearts carried
Away by our own sordid imagination,
Promising real solid occurrence from
A moment’s purest accident,
Yet not for me. What of norm would
Have me floating down a
Similar green-blue luke-warm
Dream stream instead reminded me
That I am somewhere else, thinking
Of someone never met, yet close to hand
As if somehow proximity was no
More real than forgotten summer’s
Kiss brushed gently across forever
Pursed lips. Come join me,
Celebrate this great love we
All share, remembering we are
But human, no more real, near
Or distant from those we miss
Than a stolen glance mistaken by
One as promises missed, by another
A tantalising reminder of someone
Not yet fully met, yet missed
All the same.

Living with Lyme Disease – 30 years and counting…

(The recording above is the radio program “Lyme Disease Controversy Comes to the Capitol“, broadcast on New Hampshire Public Radio by Elaine Grant on Monday, February 01, 2010.)

I have Lyme Disease. I caught it when I was around five years old.

Ixodes scapularis (aka 'Deer Tick')
Ixodes scapularis (aka

You get it from the ‘deer tick’ (aka the ‘baby tick). Fundamentally, Lyme disease is a bacterial infection.

Where did this all begin? Well, let me tell you…
I was about five years old (my memory of precisely when is obviously not perfect). I held no fear of ticks or insects, having grown up barefoot and wild in the forests and swamps around Chappequa, New York. As most young children are, I was impervious to any fear of nature, insects or animals.

Ticks do not crawl across the skin like many other parasites, nor do they hop around as 6 legged jumping beans like fleas (yech!). They find a nice, sometimes shaded, piece of skin (mine was behind my ear) and begin to make a home for themselves.

Continue reading Living with Lyme Disease – 30 years and counting…

Problems sending email?

Are you having problems sending email?

I was too, for the past week or so. It happened all of a sudden, out of the blue. So I did what any self-respecting techie would do, I fiddled around with my account settings on my ‘mail client’ (Mozilla Thunderbird, like Outlook just free and not linked to Microsoft in anyway). Unable to fix the problem, I then visited the ‘Bluehost’ help pages (Bluehost are the company which I use to host this website).

It follows the passing of the ‘Digital Economy Act 2010‘ which fundamentally forced Internet Service Providers (ISPs) in the United Kingdom to allow the UK government to scan any and all email sent by anyone based in the UK.

That’s right, the government is reading all of our email (or can do, if they so wish). The ISPs tried to appeal in court but their appeal was rejected by the High Court. You can find out more about this court case by reading the BBC article on the appeal failure here.

I was having issues sending email via what is called an ‘SMTP’ server. SMTP, or ‘Simple Mail Transfer Protocol’, is used by most e-mail systems to send messages from one server to another over the Internet.

Fundamentally, ISPs in the UK, such as BT and Sky, now have to allow the UK government access to any SMTP messages (email to you and me) sent to and from any computer or server in the UK. That is all your and my email.

Yes, the government, or Big Brother as in George Orwell’s famous book, 1984 can now access any email you send via SMTP port 25.

Funnily enough, there is a fix to this. If you go into your mail client (Outlook, Mozilla Thunderbird or AN Other client), go to ‘Settings’ and ‘SMTP settings’, then change the ‘Port’ from ’25’ to ’26’, this will bypass the Big Brother’s monitoring attempt.

A ‘Port’ is an electronic gateway through which information flows. The standard ‘Port’ used by ‘outgoing’ SMTP mail is ’25’, which is what the government scans.

By changing this to ‘Port’ ’26’ the scanning no longer applies.

This is a small flaw in any government legislation regarding scanning or monitoring of technology, similar to outlawing a single version of a drug; a new version of the drug or a new way to go ‘around’ the legislation will come into play, and the monolith that is the government will slowly try and catch up. (Which it never will – try stemming the tide with your hand at the beach and see what happens.)

So here is the advice given on Bluehost’s website:

“Problem:

When setting up an account in Outlook or Outlook Express I get an error saying unable to connect to my SMTP server.

Solution:

Many ISP’s are now blocking traffic on port 25 (SMTP) not using their mail servers. You can do 1 of three things:

1. Change your SMTP (outgoing mail) port to 26 (we have a second SMTP server running there).
2. Enable secure authentication (SSL) for SMTP and use port 465.
3. Contact your ISP and ask for their SMTP settings to send emails using their service.”

Have fun with it – let’s not let Big Brother take our privacy that easily!

Until next time – safe emailing!