You spend a lifetime, waiting
For the right one, the one for
You, so wrapped up in your daily
Life that when they do come, you
Are two years into true love, a half-
Step from marriage, and you stop
And pinch yourself, because you are
Well and truly happy, for once, and
It didn’t cost your soul, or require a
Massive sacrifice, or some Hollywood
Fairytale ending, but rather just hard
Graft, and hope, sprinkled with a dose
Of serendipity, to make all of your
Dreams come true, as if everything
Were just waiting to fall into place,
Busy hanging in the balance until such
Time as the pieces could simply fall
Into place, so easily, so smoothly, that
Even in retrospect, sitting in the cat-
Bird seat, you watch the world slot
Together, just as so many years ago,
So many times, you watched it crumble
So many times, so far, that you thought
It could never be whole again, never
Be balanced, even with all your hard work
Keeping your shit together, pulling
Yourself up by your own socks, telling
Yourself that it will get better, that it
Has to, until the sound of your own
Internal voice drones on like a monot-
Onous bedtime story nursery rhyme,
Putting all of your get up and go to bed,
Making some days hard enough to
Even get out of bed, those long slow
Cold days where the world spins on,
Leaving you standing stunned, silent,
And then you wake up one bright crisp
Morn, like today, and you realise that
Not only has your life moved on, and
You with it, your life is better, not just
Good but great, the fairytale has landed
Somewhere within your life estate,
And all you can do is pinch yourself,
Pinch and squirm and smile, because
Everything you have ever really wanted
Has come true all the while, so bear
With, and hang in, don’t fuss, and
Carry on, don’t quit, make good, and
Have the strength to stand alone, cause
Fairytale endings happen everyday,
No matter how bad it might seem to
Get, or how cold and lonely your way,
For life works in cycles, some are up,
And some down, but if you stick it out
Try your hardest, push when all energy
Fails, you’ll find yourself where I now am,
Happy, comfortable, no longer off the
Rails, for love conquers
All fear.
Category Archives: Random Thoughts
Radom thoughts are different than quotables cause…well…they’re random thoughts. Don’t know how to explain it any better. Have a look if you want! :)
Author interview for Killer App with Bill Thomson from thebookcast.com
Excited is not the word. Hyper, buzzing, twitchy even, is more close to how I really feel. Ok, so maybe for well known authors or those who have been around the block a few times (maybe even me twenty years down the line) an interview may not be the most exciting thing to happen since sliced bread. But it is exciting, and it happened to me, so please bear with my buzzing about it for a moment.
Speaking with Bill was a real pleasure. He was calm, cool, and collected, professional, helpful, and a good laugh.
I, on the other hand, was nervous, flighty, and chatty, which comes through in the interview, but that’s ok – that’s just me.
So, without further ado, please listen to my first ever author interview, for my horror novel Killer App.
bowed
Too long standing, with
Back bowed, listening as
The words trip slip flip from
My mind’s handstongue, only
To die on the page, flopping listless
Like dying fish, until they lay dead and
Wasting, energy-less, for the next sweet touch
Of reader’s eyes, too long have I waited
Wanting, hoping, pushing, for some-
Thing new to arise, some great find, like
Semantic archaeologist, digging deep for
That one true rhythm that is mine,
Only to be told by inaction wrested from
The lips of those around, that what spews forth
Is no more real, or tangible to the touch,
Than you or I dreaming nothingness into being,
As such.
Bowed, waiting forever for life to
Return the favour, only realising by stealth
That waiting is no good for anyone’s
Health, but instead the striving for more,
But not more things, more meaning, or
Even more truth, just another day,
Un-bowed, with love and warmth
Under one roof.
So, wait no more do I, instead
I sing, of flowers and petals, of
Explosions and rings, with a screaming
Headless horseman breathing down
My back, I will keep on writing every
Day, until the words come no more,
And on that wordless day of life,
I will descend below the earth’s floor.
Coming home
to roost, happy as
a cat who’s got the
cream, living a life
that was once a dream,
all I can say is, “I am
here, ready to take it
all, everything I have
ever held so dear, and
hold it closer than my
own true self, never to
forget the journey far,
all tears shed, muscles
torn, eager ego rumbled
hard, shaken standing up
so long, so far, still and yet
not still, no more, tapping
footsteps damp on floor, my
one true wish has already come
true, that I am he, coming home
to you, my sweetest love, whose
tenderest kiss, traces ghost circles
teasing dry-chapped lips, until
the moment of open door, with
you smiling, standing there, happy
once more, may I remind myself
dreams do come true, if you keep
on fighting, just for you, at the end
of nightmare’s forever razor-bladed
ride, where each long night sliced
deeper inside, until raw scraping
cold hard steel drew screams, of
tortured lonely shattered dreams,
measured in heart torn silent tears
once shed, of lonely empty endless
dread, now coming home to youy dear, there is nothing left that is
empty here, instead all is filled with
brightness and light, for everything
is just so, just right, and all I can say
forever from the me, is you are my
one true love, and this is my dream
life, just you and me.
a partial solution…
We don’t need to ‘ban’ guns. We just need to punish those who carry handguns by automatically applying federal law to anyone caught committing a crime while carrying a deadly weapon. What this means in reality is that anyone caught committing a crime (no matter how big or small) whilst carrying a gun (even if they did not use it in the crime) will automatically go to jail for 10 years. This was trialed in three states over two decades ago.
The outcome? Gun homicide fell by 30% in the first year. They even anonymously interviewed a cocaine dealer from the area, who was quoted in saying that all of the cocaine dealers he knew stopped carrying weapons because 10 years in jail was too costly… if they were caught with cocaine they could get up to 3 years in jail. But if they were caught with cocaine and a gun, they automatically got 10 years. With this one dealer earning over $200k a year selling drugs, 10 years in jail is a loss of $2 million which is just not sound business logic. Hence why he and other dealers stopped carrying. Hence why the gun homicides by criminals was cut so drastically so quickly. How was this kicked off?
By a slight change in state law making all people caught committing crimes while carrying a deadly weapon automatically tried in federal court instead of state court, and guaranteeing them 10 years in jail. Billboards were posted all around the areas, publicising the new application of existing laws. (I wrote a paper on this in Uni.)
So yes, there is a real solution (tried and tested) with a simple application of EXISTING federal gun laws which would focus the government’s anti-gun legislation on criminals, not your law-abiding gun owners (win-win). We could do it now.
Why does the NRA not want this? Because all the NRA cares about is selling guns to anyone and everyone. They care about making money not helping people or protecting homes. They are the face of big business.
If the ‘law-abiding’ gun owners of the US want to continue to exercise their right to bear arms, they should support real-world solutions and force the NRA to back the implementation of tighter federal law punishments for all criminals who commit crimes carrying deadly weapons. It is proven to work.
The world is not black and white (guns for everyone or guns for no one). The world is GREY. (Rules applied to punish criminals, lower gun homicides, and improve our way of life.) … I would like to point out that even if we did implement this law and cut gun homicides by 30% nationally in the first year (which would be great) we wouldn’t actually solve the problem of the massacres in the schools – the majority of which were committed by the children of people who legally own guns (‘law-abiding gun owners’).
That is obviously an issue to resolve in another manner. (Not sure how to solve that problem without limiting / minimising gun ownership across the board.)