Category Archives: Rants

When the spirit takes you,
When life just does not seem fair,
When it is the time we are all waiting for,
Subconsciously, deep inside,
We all do it…throw our toys out the pram.
Only difference is
I do it online! :)

a day in the life, About, Poems, Random Thoughts, Rants

Twitchy

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Laying awake,
Heart racing with the possibilities,
Like a kid in a candy store, too
Hyper to try any new flavours out,
Satan’s mind-spin cycle class, just
Flipping between what is
And what could be, don’t blow it all
Now, trying not to tear it all down.

Excitement at future states
Not yet reached, nor even considered,
Nothing more than a boyhood dream
Come true or false it no longer matters,
For here and now is all there is,
Yet still, here and now, I cannot sleep,
Let alone find peace, just more
Nightmare heart-racing spin cycle junk,
Leaving every nerve ending
Humming like a well-oiled, hyper
Tuned, over-revved machine, engine
Shaking itself to bits, still in
Neutral, yet not still in bits
Shaking.

Why am I so excited? Nothing
Has changed, just as nothing
Changes, so does everything not
Stay the same, as I know all too well,
So why this hypertension of self,
When all around me is still, and
Even the cat and kitten have given
Hardwood floor a rest, still, yet
Not still am I, laying here, heart racing,
Breathe come fast, so fast that
Sleepless time flies, in the face of all reason,
I should be tired, yet still I lay awake,
Yet not still, still.
Rather twitchy.

mE, Poems, Rants

fuck pretension in all its ugliness

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Fuck pretension;
Irritation burns slight,
Like salt on a minor wound,
The bugbear of small minds,
Pretending to think big, in the
Small space, between our ears,
Where we all live, our own realities,
Forever buried in memory’s bliss,
For we are nothing more than
The sum of all parts, the final
Output of today’s equation,
Only to be written again in
Tomorrow’s fire and ice,
Still small minds, high
On probable cause,
For no reason than
Their own self-
Importance,
Revert to
School-
Yard
Bullying,
The final resting
Place, for small minds,
Restless in their endless
Search for something more
Than this endless death at night,
Born again, Christian or not, in the
Morning, still themselves, still the same
Yet no more than the summation of all parts,
No more than they were the day before,
Yet still yearning for a deeper truth,
Proof that one more day spent
Searching, was a day un-
Wasted, falling back, on
Putting down others,
Because they/I are
Different, and
Still the bully-
Ing,brings
Up bitter
Taste, I
Am as
Deep
As you,
No matter
What I like to
Watch, see, or do,
I am as thoughtful,
Caring, understanding
And true, just because I
Have a different opinion,
And find the film a dullard
Bore, does not make me dim,
But rather your response to my
Attempt to be reasonable, to treat
It as a taste disliked, personal to my
Very core, makes you and your smallish
Schoolyard bullying mind, bitter as a
Tyrant’s whore, for meanness is only
Ignorance squared, close-minded-
Ness’ cousin’s friend’s lover’s
Bitch, the dead pet fish
Choking to death sadly
On the floor. So next
Time you open curl-
Ed lips, pursed with
Angers sharpened
Tongue creased,
Realise you are
Already lost
To bitter
Sad
Lost and
Loneliness’
Empty soul-
Less falseness,
Not the high-priest’
Preaching promises of
True sight and forever
Sure righteous truth, just
Adding your voice to bitter
Bile tides of putrid shit, that
Mirrors ripples out in seas of it
Until we suffocate under feelings
Of hate, and forget the friendliness’
Escape, that love is for one and all the
Same, that life is one long repetitive game
And only those who see the truth, that
Ugly words damage sender more than
Me, realise that it takes an open mind
To accept what mean hearts and
Small minds so rarely see, that
I have an opinion that is mine
To keep, and just as right as
Yours you see, so the next
Time you open smiling lip
And spin out pretentious
Shit, remember opinion
Is so much me, that I
Can like and see and
Be, whatever I want,
Cause that’s
Just
Me.

a day in the life, ePublishing, Killer Application: Dead or Alive, mE, Novels, Random Thoughts, Rants

Yee-haw!

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Wow. So that’s what it feels like to come to the end of a novel, and even start the second one.

The rollercoaster is over, or has only just begun, as I have as yet to let anyone read this revised draft.

Nervous? Yes.

Excited? Yes.

Exhausted and exhilerated? Double yes.

Where to now?

Do I go the old school route and hunt down an agent, trap them with style, cunning and a well-turned phrase, joining forces to create a hunting party out for the rare blood of the oft-maligned and dying breed of old-school publisher in the hopes of them seeing the diamond in the rough; maybe not the next JK cash machine but at least worth investing time, energy and publicity in?

Or do I surf the light fantastic and punt into the lake placid of self-publishing and self-promotion? Is my book eye-catching enough to light the bushfire of people’s imagination and flow through word of mouth into the collective subconscious?

What to do, what to do. (Ideas accepted on a postcard, written in binary or Sanskrit.)

Whatever the future level of success, I wrote it, from beginning to end and back again, and that is enough for me (for now).

If people enjoy reading it and want more, that will be all I ever wanted.

Here’s hoping! 😉 (Just in case you are wondering where you can lay your hands on my book, please keep your eyes peeled on my blog / twitter / linked in / Facebook account, where I will be broadcasting more exciting news (exciting to me at least!) as soon as I have it.

Til next time, be good to one another, cause each other is all we really have.

Peace out,

mE

a day in the life, Rants

i sit corrected :)

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This morning I received the following feedback on my last (obviously whingey-sounding) post entitled “it’s just plain taxing” :

“The fact remains that you are considerably better off, not only than most of the world’s population, but most of Britain’s as well. However hard it is for you, it is harder for the majority of other people. That £80 would make much more difference to someone on £20,000 than to you and it would be a month’s salary in many parts of the world. I think your request for more aid is correct but with respect I don’t think you should be the recipient.” – Danyal

I just wanted to thank Danyal for setting me straight. No sarcasm, just straight “thank you”.

I had not realised my last post sounded so whiney – it won’t happen again! (I hope.)

Danyal was not the only person to comment on this post. One of my older friends, Ron (reliving his twenty-somethings a few years on 😉 ), pointed out that after 50 years of being in the workforce as an engineer he could not claim the salary I mentioned.

Again, thank you both for setting me straight.

Fundamentally, I happen to agree with both Danyal and Ron.

Yes, we do expect more money from our work.

Yes, we do have more cash coming in.

Yes, there are people much worse off in, and out of this country.

I guess my main point got lost somewhere along the way.

My issue was not with losing £80 per month child tax credit.

My issue was two-fold:

1. The logic behind cancelling tax credit for individuals earning above a certain threshold is fundamentally flawed. This should actually be based on “Household Income”, not a single person’s income. I was holding myself up as an example.

2. The £80 per month I lose is NOT being given to someone needier (in the UK or abroad). It is being used to plug a financial hole created by greed in business which was supported, lauded and in many ways protected by the very government that is now taking my tax credit, cancelling school improvement programs, closing hospitals, closing libraries in some of the most deprived areas (including BRAND NEW libraries, built or refurbished in the last 18 months by the same government now closing them).

The issue here is that those in power are the lapdogs of business, often moving on to lucrative business deals post political career (how much are the Blairs and Clintons making on memoirs and money for speeches?).

The issue is that billions taken from the working class as ‘tax’ is spent on banks which caused the economic crash in the first place through unsecured and emotive gambling on technically non-existent markets. The whole system feeds off of itself like a swarm of parasites. When the world financial markets sucked themselves dry internationally, we paid for it. Now they are making a profit, do we see any improvement in public services, more police, more libraries, greater investment in the infrastructure and future of the country?

Of course not. As soon as the banking industry turns a profit the bankers pocket millions in bonuses, while the rest of us sweat what little assets we have.

Yes, I think we should spend money on those who need it.

If I knew that all of the tax I paid (and it is a painful seemingly ever-increasing chunk of money each month) each year went towards helping the homeless, supporting the schools, building new libraries, paying the doctors and nurses, supporting the police, assisting other countries in supporting those in need, I would shut up about it.

But that is not where my and everyone else’s tax is going.

‘We’ (the government on our behalf) invested (pissed away) more money in banks and the financial structure in a single year than we have spent on all of the natural disaster DEC appeals for the last decade (and then some).

The point is that the money we (the governments of the world) pissed away on the failing banking system (which is miraculously still standing and now making a profit – surprise surprise!) enough money to feed the world’s hungry for years, or write off a large proportion of third world debt, or build a dozen full-sized working fusion reactor (never-ending clean energy, anyone?).

The point is that with that money wasted, we are now losing police from the streets, libraries are being closed, everyone is having to tighten their belts and work twice as hard to earn the same they did a few years before which, considering the increase in the cost of living, hike in electricity and gas bills, increase in income tax, inflation and the rest in reality means we’ve all taken a salary cut each year our salaries stay the same – after 3 years inflation alone means a 12% salary cut.

Again, I would not mind if the money was going somewhere useful, to help those who need it.

But it is not.

That was the point I was trying to make.

Apologies for it getting lost in a whinge! 🙂

Maybe I should create a new category of ‘whinge’ and put the last post there! 😉

Your feedback is much appreciated – please keep it coming!

😉

Til we communicate again,

Yours,

mE (Em) 🙂

a day in the life, Rants

it’s just plain taxing…

4 Comments

I have to warn you – this will be a rant (hence the ‘category’ of ‘rant’).

For those of finer sensibilities, or who prefer to only read the less rant-acious blogs, turn away now. Read something from the ‘poetry’ category, take up table tennis, or learn the ancient martial art of navel-gazing (one of my favourite ‘down-time’ pastimes).

Still reading? Cool. So here goes.

First the facts:
1. I am a single full-time working parent.
2. My daughter lives with me 7 days a week.
3. I earn more than 44k a year (whoopti-doo, I hear you say. Just bear with me, this is all going somewhere.)

Now the punchline:
1. I presently get £80 a month ‘child tax credit’. That is the full extent of the financial assistance the government (which I have paid for during my 15 years working in England) gives to me. £80 per month. That’s it.
2. Because I earn more than £44k a year, I will lose my £80 per month child tax credit come June. That’s right, all gone. Supposedly, I don’t need it anymore. Thanks coallition government!
3. If I lived with a partner with both of us earning £44k (total annual household income of £88k) we would together receive £160 per month child tax credit, even after June. Nice, eh?

So, according to the government, the magic number is £44k.

And if two people earn less than this live together, they need financial support from our tax money, whereas I don’t (I do not take home anywhere £88k, although it would be really nice if I did!).

So there you have it.

Oh, and the coallition government also brought a stealth income tax increase in during this year, meaning someone earning more than £40k pays an additional £100 per month in tax… Because we can obviously afford it.

Where is this money going? I hear you ask.

Better schools? More libraries? Higher paid doctors and nurses? Public infrastructure? Paying the needy or elderly to be able to live better?

Nope.

This money is the debt we inherited because some idiot in the previous government (Brown…) decided it was a good idea to blow your and my money on failing banks. “Good money after bad money.” Interesting decision.

So, fundamentally, I lose £80 per month, Hounslow closes 8 out of 10 libraries (four of which were either just refurbished or rebuilt in the last 12 months!), we lose police, schools lose funding, local communities and charities lose funding, to line the pockets of already rich bankers.

The same bankers who gambled and lost our money in the first place. (Note, they did NOT lose their own money at all – neither the first or the second time, because most high-end bankers pay next to nothing in tax – 20% at most on maybe part of what they earn.)

That’s all.

Screw the working class, the middle earners. Tax them harder, remove their benefits. Let the gambling continue in the markets. (And before anyone self-righteously accuses me of cashing in on the scramble for cash then stabbing those gambling ‘heroes’ in the back when it all fell apart; I did not ever buy any shares, aside from the “option” to buy shares of a company I once worked in which was actually part of the pension scheme.)

And of course hike up the cost of commuting, electricity, gas…

I don’t want to pay for some gamblers to continue to burn our world economy.

Rant over! 🙂

Back to happy self.

Back to rewriting. 😉

Til next time, keep breathing easy,

mE (Em)