Complete me!
Cries my heart-song.
Make me soul-
Deep happy, hums
The depths
Of my being.
Always are there
When I need you,
Know what to say,
Caress the stresses,
Smooth the wrinkles,
Keeping toil-wrought
Demons at bay.
Break all my pretensions, into
Digestable pieces, rake back
Sand-coated crunch-tastic woolly
Thinking, freeing me
To be me, each
And every day.
Intrigue me,
Intoxicatingly true.
Complete me,
Just being you.
Cold hard pitted concrete face,
Stretching, ground-up, from base
To horizon-busting lip, still just me
Standing still, running a hundred
Miles an hour, if not stressworkplay
Then exercisewritetalkthinkseebe
When along comes family, my
Big sis, to come pick me up, help
Me clean, straighten, organise
Re-arrange, until the peace settles
Down over my shoulders, the
Grand stone facade cracks and I
Have to go run and hide, find some
Space to cry, because the damn is
Busting.
Tears hot and heavy, empty me of
Dread held tight, empty space
Filled with my very own inter-
Stellar dark matter, no more real
To me than the dark matter that
Holds the galaxies together and
Just as cold, to me this is the first
A time to realise that constant
Runningmovingdoingthinkingactive
Being is not any more healthy than
Stopping stock still forever more,
Then again I crack.
The impenatrable ferrous concrete
Of my own internal damn cracks,
No explosion, just a gentle rupture,
Until the waterworks come,
Reminding me that I am all too
Human, no more or less strong
Than any other.
Why cry? Don’t ask me, for
I could not tell you. All I learn is
That sometimes you have to stop
Be still, let someone else take
Over, to realise you are running
Straight into the ground. Take a
Step back, breathe, let go, for
Any semblance of control over our
Own lives is only the illusion of
Control, for in reality we are nothing
More than feeling pin-balls, bouncing
From one precarious noisy post
To another, forever hopingwishingpraying to
Receive some kind of sign
That this will be the last bounce,
Bump, grind, ringing bells in our
Ears and knocking us sideways into
Another dimension of confusion.
Are we really who we think we are?
Would it make any difference?
Still we bang on,
In our own personal way, chasing
That illusive ‘happy’ place, each
To our own, still bouncing from
Pillar to post, unsure of the latest
As we were of the first, that promised
‘Ease-up’ of pressureworklife never
Appearing, instead pressure ramps
Up, the pedal slips down ever closer
To the floor, one more step to our
Grave, the only end we will all
Ever share, still none the wiser.
Yet if we stop, let go, sit still,
Even for one moment, we may see
That life is not one long mad rush
Towards the inevitable crowning
Glory, the final rest, but a journey
Onwards deeper into our own
Personal road, our chosen path,
Until we know just who we are,
And hopefully, if we’re lucky,
Why.
Flushed, system running
Tinnitus-high, smiling inside out
Breathe tight, short in throat,
Constricted with happy hormones
Life-rush of fine feelings thrown all
Too high, overdrive with no rough
Life to grip, just the ease of happy
No-stress enjoyment, true to life,
True to me, wide awake, bright-
Eyed, bushy-tailed, chomping at
The bit, look out world, are you
Ready for an Emerson, loaded with
Endorphins and aimed straight out
At you? I think not! Too bad, too
Late, don’t say I didn’t warn you
This ugly little duckling just got his
Turbo on – at this speed looks don’t
Matter, only steering straight on
Towards the stars and beyond,
Like LL said, don’t call it a come
Back, cause I’ve never been here
Before. Not sure even I know where
I’m heading, all I know is that it’s
Right –
She’s the one.
Stop! Freeze frame, breathe,
Another bright blue sky awaits
The wonder of a new day, the
Feeling of completeness, in and
Of your Self, a unique being
Held in the highest regard, all you
Will ever truly know, if even
That, a shining sun-beam of a soul,
Glowing bright for the world to see
A weight lifted, another deep breathe
Taken, slow down, ease in to your
Day, take it one step at a time,
Ignore the urge to rush.
When you can, pause, on the tube,
On the bus, on your bike at a light
Look around, see the souls shining
Bright all around, realise you are
Not alone, you may be one, but of
Six billion bright souls shining on
The face of this massive ball of rock
Let us shout out to the heavens, so
That even the tortured souls living
In their own personal hells may hear,
“You are not alone! We are
With you!” Love one another as
Family, for this great rush to the
End, your end, my end, our ends,
Money, happiness, success, faith,
Peace, tranquility, go no further than
What they mean to us, our Selves,
And mean no more than that which
We, our Selves, take from everything
We gain, every step we take
Worth the whole journey, stop,
Freeze for a moment, look your
Fellow life traveller in the eye and
Say, even if in the quiet of your
Own mind, “I love you, for the
Beautiful creature that you are,
Even though I do not know
What you are, how hard you have
Tried” for we are all on the same
Road, that one path, all leading to
The same place. Smile at a stranger,
Breathe easy, for each step we take
Aware, brings us closer to who we
Really are, our Selves, each a
Brilliant soul, loving those around
Us, understanding that in each of
Us, each Other, there is a beauty,
A gorgeous, strong, powerful,
Compassionate, healthy, successful
Individual waiting to come out and
Shine. So let them, let your Self
Shine.
Stop!
Friendships shimmer like lost
Blossoms of springtimes dead
Heat, suffocated by winter’s downy
Head, laid down to rest with all
Else that sleeps in the dead cold
Dark of life’s quiet, slow period.
All life flows south for winter,
Due south, like the birds, yet
Even my own guts tell me, in
Their revolt against too much
Drink, salt, sugar, time, stress, or
Not enough sleep, that even I
Must shut down some, go south
As it were, for winter’s true veil,
The one that shimmers like lost
Love, the horizon of ever-promised
Spring juice, summer love, autumn
Romance, all is lost in the dead of
Cold, dark, hail of the soul.
For now is the time, the time to
Rest, easy in the knowledge that
Even as the bright golden red
Embers burn, deep hot breaths of
Ice-tight hollow nothing seep into
Everything I see, the road slipping
Ever further into tunnel vision, that
False premise of a life well lived,
Even that small wish meets its own
Gruesome demise, just so, for as
We learn, as we grow, nothing is
Real, all transient, change is the
Only constant, just so.
This is not the hail mary, everlast
Cry of a lone wolf in the forest, but
Rather just another single beam of
Wavering light, another candle in the
Wind of life’s funny torrential downpour,
One more gust of harsh breath,
Hard-earned pain and empty night.
Tomorrow is a new day, will be all
The same a flow of inconsequential
Sameness, that disheartening fever
Of life lived to the extreme, an extent
Of what we living, thinking, being
Creatures call the ‘cure’, to boredom,
To loneliness, to frustration, just so,
Just so.
And still we burn.